SOBS: Fiction: Bob's Big Adventure

Bob's Big Adventure by Roger Marsh

Chapter One: The Sunday Drive

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Bob Tomlin is not the type of guy to fool around when it comes to cars. He often doesn't have one. When he doesn't have one he rides public transportation and in other people's cars, but tends to displace a lot of knowledge of a car's procurement, maintenance, and its place in one's life. The place Bob puts cars is like this lifelong running battle — a kind of civil war in the brain — and Bob's going to come out the winner. Price is foremost. Never pay too much for a car and never pay too much attention to it once you own it. This morning Bob bought a car and he didn't pay too much for it. George Dinkins gave Bob the car ten minutes after Mrs. Dinkins said she'd leave George if he didn't buy a new car. The 1978 Dodge Volare with the leaking sun roof was taking up space at the Dinkins home and Bob took it as a favor to get rid of the car for George. Peterson Woods homeowners were just waking up Sunday morning as Bob jerked the car off Lincoln Avenue and turned south on Mozart. He parked and left the engine rumbling in front of 5716 north and got out.

The old Cordoba didn't look too bad. It ran. The smell inside wasn't too bad. He could fix the roof and make the bumper stop shaking in his spare time. Didn't bother him. As he stood there eyeing his new car, Julie appeared in front of the two-flat.

"Tell me that's not the car," Julie said. "I am not driving that car."

"Hey," Bob said. "Who said anything about driving? You'll be riding."

"Ride. Drive. Same thing. I'm not getting in."

"Oh, you'll get in," Bob said, "and you'll like it."

"I don't like it," Julie said.

"What don't you like about it?"

"It's like every time I look at it I think of Ricardo Montebaum."

"I like Ricardo Montebaum."

"I will not have him commuting with me to work."

Julie did get in the Cordoba that Sunday morning and the two drove east and caught Western south and headed toward Lake Shore Drive. Julie spoke first.

"Okay. We own a Plymouth Cordoba. How much did you pay for it? Julie asked.

"Pay for it. Are you kidding? I'm not going to pay for a car. And it's a Chrysler."

"Not pay for a car. That's good, Bob. Did you steal it?"

"I didn't steal it. You think I'd steal a car? I got it from Dinkins."

"George?"

"He started at maybe. I don't know. He probably started at sixteen hundred."

"You paid sixteen hundred for this?"

"I said he started at sixteen hundred. When I heard sixteen hundred, I laughed."

"You laughed?" Julie asked.

"Laughing is good when you want to kick off the price dropping. You always laugh. But when you laugh, you never move."

"Don't move?"

"Never move. Moving says you might still pay the price. Standing very still says you'll never pay that price. It says the price is crazy. In fact, it's so crazy that I'm laughing."

"You're laughing?"

"Yeah, and laughing means you might as well drop the price one thousand or I'm going to walk away."

"One thousand?"

"Yeah, one thousand. At least. So that puts me right at six hundred. He's asking sixteen hundred and that means I'm not going to pay more than six hundred. And I may not even pay that."

"So you paid six hundred?"

"No. I got it for free."

"How did you get from six hundred to free?"

"I laughed."

"Yeah, yeah. You laughed and that means you drop one thousand. How did you get from six hundred to free?"

"So he says, 'What's it worth to you?' And that's where you have to at least say the six hundred — so you have a starting point. By the time I was done with ole George he was willing to pay me just to get rid of the car for him."

"By the way," Julie said. "George's wife left a message for you. She said not to bring that car back. And then she said something about a curse, and I don't know, the rest of the message was rambling. All I could make out were the words 'Stephen King.' 'Christine.' And 'life of its own.'"

"You know," Bob said. "It's so typical of the Dinkins. Very imaginative people."

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Click here to read Chapter 2: The Fixer-Upper