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"Milhouse is
this little wiener...." "My mom says
I'm cool."
Picture a scene like this one: You're in history class back in high school. What's-his-ass is rattling on about the Combustible Restitution. Naturally, nobody's paying attention. So there you sit, talking to your friends about girls. Most of the banter pertains to this or that 'honey,' and at least one of you utters the words 'mackin style.' You know, the usual banter. Then there's Dunston. You ask him, "Dunston, where would you and that special someone go on your honeymoon?" Granted, your buddies have already spoken for the really good places like Ohio and Florida. But even if they hadn't, well, it's DUNSTON. He gets this thoughtful gleam in his eyes, like stardust. "I don't have to go anywhere," your friend Dunston smiles. "The greatest adventures take place inside the pages of a book! All I have to do is open a book, and I'm carried away to the world of dreams." For the most part, Dunston is excluded from the rest of the discussion. How can a guy like him ever understand that 'stroke books' aren't the be-all and end-all? Often we laugh at those whose opinions don't match up with ours 100 percent. If you had a dime for all the times you laughed at Dunston, it's time to buy a new piggy bank!! Dunston's the guy who videotaped every episode of the UPN series 'Shasta McNasty, right? He goes around quoting the December 7, 1999 episode like it's Shakespeare: "Son of a bitch. That was the one about midget boxing. In any event, rarely do we embrace the Dunston in all of us. You probably laugh at him. You ostracize Dunston just because he enjoys different leisure activities then you do, or because he sings songs about Carmen Electra's circular ass. And if he likes ostriches, you probably ostrich-size him. But some outsiders laugh last.
You don't hafta be named robert to see that NAFTA or no NAFTA, books still cost way too much. I guess maybe the Dunston of the world are all rich. One thing's for sure. Now we're lucky if we can come up with $40 for the bus ride to Murfreesboro, including the snacks! You might as well go to the bookstore, right? There, you can go to the world of dreams for only thirty dollars. What's thirty dollars? Dick
Sharkwater pens The Yapper |
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emember
the people who used to get all 'philosophical' when they talked about
books? 
hat
if they burned all the books? Bad news for Dunston, it looks like. Then
again, maybe he has a secret underground vault, and it's packed with
books. Dunston isn't likely to give you the keys.